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In An Attempt to Feel my Feelings

A few weeks ago, I was surfing the web and I stumbled upon a very beautiful blog called thecuriousgemini. I took to reading and in the midst of reading, I was taken aback by one of its blog posts called Feel Your Feelings. When I saw this title, I thought to myself “hmm... Don’t we all feel our feelings?”, but when I read the post, I realized that I was way off.

I will encourage you to read the post before continuing here, so that you may be able to understand what I am talking about.

When I think of “feeling my feelings”, I’m reminded of the feeler that I am. The over thinker and the planner with no action. When I read, Feel Your Feelings, I got another perspective on this case. I learnt about acknowledging feelings that I am not so comfortable with having. In uncomfortable cases that require me to acknowledge my feelings or react openly, I find myself unresponsive. In Nigeria, we call this nonresponse “forming”. Which means that I am “putting up a front” so that no one would know how I am truly feeling. Occasionally, I try to do this to myself. I try to ignore the elephant in the room, but at some point, the elephant will come and take a seat right on top of me, forcing me to acknowledge it, whether I like it or not. In plain terms, what I am trying to say is that, regardless of whether or not I refuse to feel my feelings, those emotions will one day build up and take that first step outside my mind.

“I always tell them that you never get over something so tragic but you learn to live with it, it gets better and in order for this to happen you need to feel your feelings. Sometimes, I get so caught up with ‘life’ that I neglect my emotional health and there is no escaping that, it will eventually demand you to take a step back and acknowledge it.”

From Feel your Feelings, I have learnt that I need to start acknowledging this elephant in the room. I confess, it is very difficult for me to do. Even though I wrote “Free your Mind”, I’m aware that actions are louder than words. It’s not easy taking that 1st step and saying “You know what world? This is how I feel”, but it is not impossible. I’ve learnt that it is okay for me to feel openly and privately, and it's okay to be hurt and have everyone know it. Everyone has feelings, but coming to the understanding that my feelings matter and that they’re the first and most important priority in my life, is a noteworthy lesson I have now come to accept.

I have started practicing this, by saying NO, “That hurts me”, “I’m not fine with this”, “I am not comfortable”, and “I am not okay” when it’s needed. I’ve realized that I am a “Yes” person and that needs to change, especially, when I strongly mean NO. Being a “yes” person has made me a very bitter person. I’ve done things I didn’t like because I wanted to make others happy at the expense of my emotional health. Being a yes person means I spend a lot of time disregarding my own opinions because I’ve been putting others’ before mine.

So thank you thecuriousgemini, for your amazing and insightful post. I have started attempting to feel my feelings and it's been great so far.

Another inspirer on the case of feeling my feelings is a Christian Hip-Hop artist named Lecrae, he released a song called “the good the bad the ugly” where he tells his listeners about his past. He describes some of the messy things he partook in, as a child and as a teenager/young adult and it makes me wonder; How many of us are willing to just lay our past out in the open? Regardless of how people will take it. It’s scary, trust me, I know, but being able to talk about what happened to him as a child, the effects of it on him as a teenager/young adult, and what effects it has on him TODAY is a BRAVE act! It reminds me of the post I wrote called Free Your Mind, where I talked about letting out the pain that has been bottled up inside, and now here I am, listening to Lecrae doing just that through his music.

Some people may never understand it or why you tell this story. As individuals, we may feel that people are tired of hearing that same story we keep telling, but when we think about that ONE soul that will be touched, it's enough to keep going. Although, this story does not define you, it led you to the person that you are TODAY. By sharing your story, you are feeling your feelings and you are choosing to free yourself of those feelings by passing it on to those who will use it well.

Image by Derek Fauntleroy

Odabọ (bye for now),



  1. Hi Oluwanitori (loooove your name, it is so rich)

    Your post touched on something that I have been thinking about - being a yes person aka people pleaser which I am but slowly working on that. When you are a yes person like you mentioned you allow your feelings to take a back sit and proprieties other people's wants and needs. I have struggled with that for so long and yes I became bitter and quite angry with some people around me but mostly with myself.

    Your post is really an eye opener for me too :) loved it and I am going to share it :)

    1. Thank you lol! I kinda made it up from my language, Yoruba (I'm not too fluent).
      I'm so glad that you loved it, I really took sometime to create the post from my point of view and I am so glad it worked out! Thank you Lapaka for this opportunity!

  2. Love the essence of your blog.
    Your have a nice blog here. I love that you have that one soul in mind that your story can touch.
    That is how I am. I do it just for that one person that needs it. So amazing!

    1. Yes!! Thank you so much for sharing Miss Funmi!! I'll be sure to check out your blog!!

  3. I love this post! As a fellow yes person, I can relate and realize that I do need to be protective of my personal feelings. xx


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